Four Men and Their Stories
by bleachUlquiGrimm
Summary: Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, Gin, and Aizen team up to ensure hilarity ensues when Ulquiorra and Grimmjow stop fighting. Enjoy please R&R THANKS :D
1. 1 Burned

Burned

Ulquiorra. Need I say more? Fine then. I hate Ulquiorra with a passion, no, that wasn't the right word. I hate Ulquiorra ten times more than Kurosaki, and he gave me a huge scar that marked from my chest down to my abdomen. That was the right term for it.

It was dark, sandy, and typical in Hueco Mundo. Las Noches sat in the middle of Hueco Mundo standing tall and proud like most arrancar do. I breathed in the chalky air and sighed. Chalky was good. I was determined to stay out here as long as was needed to for me to avoid my green eyed foe. I sneered just thinking about the little emo kid. I mean, how dare he order me around like some common arrancar! I was the sixth freakin' Espada deserved to be treated as such! How dare he insult me using big words I didn't understand! Who does that!? Huh!? Who does that!? I popped the collar to my open jacket defiantly. Calm down Jaegerjaques. Calm down. Don't let the green eyed douchebag get to you without him even being here. This is how much I hated Ulquiorra. He made me think of how angry he makes me even when I'm trying to avoid him. Ugh. Maybe fresh air wasn't was I needed. Maybe I should just go back inside Las Noches and face the music, or, ah, Ulquiorra. It was bound to happen anyway. He would just appear out of nowhere like he usually did, look at me with that damn emotionless face of his, and insult me and order me around. I huffed angrily. I just had to keep myself from getting angry and take it like a man. I stopped my thoughts. How the hell was I _not_ going to get mad? The guy had a talent for pissing me off!!! Clenching my teeth, I strode into the palace proudly. I caught looks from some of the lower ranked arrancar. They got so worked up over nothing.

"It's Grimmjow."

"That's the sixth Espada."

Nice comments. It was about time I got some recognition.

"How do you think Ulquiorra's going to torture him today?"

"Maybe he'll embarrass Grimmjow again by using words any other Espada would understand."

"Maybe he'll make Grimmjow clean all the rooms….in a maid's outfit!"

Snickers passed through the hallway. So, I was wrong. I was being recognized for being Ulquiorra's whipping boy. Why me, Lord Aizen? Drop the Lord, he just gave you power. Why me, Aizen? Huh? What did I ever do to deserve this? I mean, I was created first. Why am I the one being tortured here? I sighed and stopped walking. The little fuckers stopped whispering. I looked at them halfway making them all freeze over. I faced them completely.

"Who thinks I'm about to be tortured?"

None spoke. I smiled.

"If you can whisper about it, surely you can say it out loud."

"Uh, Ulquiorra's going to torture you?" One said, unsure of himself. A cero hit the arrancar point blank in the face killing him. The others looked at the corpse on the ground. Smoke from the cero steamed into the air. I looked at them with my fake smile.

"Anybody else want to say something? Anyone at all?"

No one said anything. They were still in shock about what had happened to the other guy.

"Come on. Someone has to have an opinion."

Still nobody spoke up. I'm sure they had learned their lesson.

"What do you think you're doing, Grimmjow?" I knew that voice. I knew the voice that made my hair stand on end and made my blood boil at the same time. I looked behind me to see _him_. His gray skin tone, the emerald green eyes, the emotionless look on his face, even the closed jacket and white hakama. His whole appearance sent me into a fit of rage, but I had to control it. Even I was smart enough to realize that it only took one meaningful hit from him to end it all.

"I asked you a question, Grimmjow." He said in that dry way of his. I was trembling in fear and anger.

"I don't know. I forgot the question." I said trying hard not to yell or growl. He closed his eyes. This was his way of calling me stupid, ignorant, and a fool.

"I asked you, what do you think you're doing?"

I had to choose my words very carefully. I could have flown off the handle at any minute if I wasn't careful.

"I…" Nope, can't say that. "What do you mean?"

He opened his eyes slowly like he always did. I think he was calling me an idiot. He waited for a real answer from me. I was waiting for a calm answer. The arrancar snickered at my silence. I turned back to them viciously. They looked down and silenced themselves. I scoffed and turned back to Ulquiorra.

"If you must know, I was teaching these failures how to respect their superiors." That was not the right thing to say.

"Oh? Maybe you should teach yourself how to do that before you teach others."

I just got burned. The lower levels chuckled again. I didn't stop them.

"They started it." Now I sounded like a fucking five year old!

"Why do you insist on belittling yourself?"

"What?" Damn it! Today just wasn't my day. More snickers from the lowers.

"Can you comprehend most of the words I say, or do you just make up responses you assume to be correct?"

"Depends."

"I see."

"What? What can you possibly see from one little word?" I had to bite my tongue. The blood instantly filled my mouth.

"It is an expression."

Silence and snickers. I looked really stupid right now. Just plain stupid.

"Oh." That was all I could say. Ulquiorra shook his head.

"You disappoint me. Every day I give you a chance to try and prove your intelligence, but it seems that your mind is slipping each time I speak to you. Is it perhaps that you are unable to understand the simplest of speech? Or is it because your mind is simply impaired?"

He was very talkative today. Usually, he'd insult me and leave. It probably had something to do with the crowd behind me. Seeing how the snickers were louder, I'd say that more arrancar had joined. I looked left and right. He was expecting me to answer somehow. Fuck it. Shit, shit, shit, I was not about to keep playing around with him. It was about time I just spoke what was on my damned mind.

"Ulquiorra, why the hell do you keep bugging me? I do nothing to you. I just mind my own freakin' business and you stroll up with the insult of the day." I walked up to him and put my finger right on him. "I am not your bitch. Grimmjow Jaegerjaques is _no one's _bitch. I will not let some green eyed emo like you put me in that position. In fact, you only insult me to anger me. I know that. I bet you're trying to pick a fight with me, but you know I can't beat you, am I right? You know I'm the weaker of us both. You _think_ I won't fight you. You. Thought. Wrong. I will fucking destroy you. So, stick that in your Hollow hole, bitch." I said lightly pushing him back. He looked at me. My Aizen, he was _shocked_. If he cried, that would just about make my day. I walked around him triumphantly. There was a loud applause in my head. The room, on the other hand, was quiet.

"Grimmjow." He called. I turned back around smiling.

"What is it? Would you like to admit that you are a bitch?"

Silence. I looked at him. Oh boy. He wasn't smiling, that's expected, or the usual hard line his mouth was always in, oh boy. Oh no, there was a scowl on his face.

"Uh, Ulquiorra?"

"Grimmjow, I knew it was only a matter of time until you finally stood up to me, but to do it in such a way. I'm disappointed." His emotionless face returned. I sighed. At least he wasn't going to kick my ass. He did walk towards me. I stayed absolutely still. Maybe if I didn't move, he couldn't see me. He stood right in front of me. I looked down at him. He didn't speak. He only handed me a box.

"Happy birthday by the way." He walked away. I looked at the box and at him. He was already gone. What the fuck? Birthday? I was silent. Oh right. It was my birthday, or the day I was turned into an arrancar. I looked at the neatly wrapped gift. The lower arrancar surrounded me at once. Any present from Ulquiorra was worth the excitement.

"Open it! Open it!' They all yelled in excitement. I blinked at the box. I had to open it. Maybe, maybe he was calling a truce by giving me something for my birthday. I came from my trance noticing the swarm of arrancar.

"Oi, get away from me."

They were sad at my remark, but who cares? They were being serious douchebags. I took the box all the way to my room wondering what it could be. I sat on my bed and fiddled with the ribbon that was so neatly and difficultly tied around the box. After I finally got past that, I tore open the paper and opened the box. I stared into the box. I put the box down and paced around my room. My eye was twitching the whole time. I went back and picked up the box. I was very pissed and very shocked because in the box was the greatest offense, and possibly the greatest burn, ever. I took several deep breaths that quickened until I stood up.

"ULQUIORRA!! YOU NO GOOD MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

In the box that lay on the bed was a collection of yarn, a catnip mouse, a mini scratching post, and several cans of tuna.


	2. 2 Dooped

Dooped

I was quite amused with myself although no sign of happiness showed on my always emotionless face. I'm sure that scream I just heard was Grimmjow opening his present. I hmphed. That was as close to a chuckle as it was going to get. I was sure Grimmjow would try to get revenge on me for that mock gift, it was only natural. He did hate me. It would be strange for him _not_ to try and get back at me for what I had done. Today was his birthday and I had gotten him a box filled with a cat's favorites, just to annoy him more. It doesn't seem like me, yes, but even I get bored. I concluded this as I walked down the hall of Las Noches, coattails flapping behind me.

Hueco Mundo was home to us arrancar, namely we, the Espada. It was home of our fortress called Las Noches where we resided. I continued to walk down the hall making my way to nowhere in particular. The truth was, ever since the war ended, I've been rather bored. Things have dulled down considerably. I could almost sigh, but I would never do such a thing. The Espada were scattered, each doing their own thing. We had lost Aroniero to one of Ichigo's friends and Zommari to the Kuchiki head. The rest of the Espada were alive, just spread out. It was usually quiet in the fortress much to my pleasure. There was more time for me to relax instead of always running errands for Lord Aizen. No disrespect, but I was given the most to do. It was about time I got a break. Maybe I would go to the library and read some books Gin stocked in there. Silence. Maybe not. As I walked, I kept my senses up. You never knew when Grimmjow would suddenly appear, and I had a feeling he was displeased with my idea of a joke. I stopped in the hallway. There was nothing to do. I knew that Nnoitra and Halibel had started going to the World of the Living. Of course I would never do such a thing seeing how I hated the sight of the trash that called that world their home. I continued to walk and my thoughts wavered from boredom to Grimmjow. I had to wonder why he was such a sporadic fool. Why did he think he had to outdo everyone? Such a feat is impossible. Can't he see that? He will never measure up to my level. He tried hard to surpass me, but I am four. He is six. He can see the difference in our power. He's just like that. An unintelligent, sporadic piece of trash. What really mad me, the calm one, angry was the fact that he spoke to me in such a disregarding manner. How dare he, the trash that he is, call me a bitch? Twice in fact. He's even tried to order me around, not that it was effective seeing how I rejected and made him do it. I closed my eyes in anger and weariness. I so tired of his vulgar behavior. It was a burden I had to bear. I was his overseer, no. I was more like his babysitter. That task, out of all others, was my least favorite. Even more so, it wasn't required, but I knew that Grimmjow was incapable of staying out of trouble without me having to stop him before he acted. He was jealous of me. I was the one with emerald eyes, but his green eyes out shone mine any day. I was Lord Aizen's favorite. I know this, and so does he. I kept walking and was finally intercepted by Grimmjow. His face was red with anger, his mouth a frown. I looked up to look at his face. He scowled at the ever emotionless face I wore.

"Ulquiorra." He spit.

"Yes? Is there something you need?"

"Yeah, I want to know what the hell this is al about!" He yelled waving the box I had given to him earlier. I hmphed.

"What about it?"

"What is the meaning of this?"

"I thought you would be more appreciative."

"Apprecia-!? I don't like my release form being taunted."

"Are you tempted by the items? Is that why you're so upset?"

He was silent. He looked at the box and back at me.

"Well?" I asked still waiting for my answer. I wasn't so patient when it came to Grimmjow. He opened his mouth but closed it. I turned around.

"That's what I thought. Go play with your present and stop bothering me with your minor problems."

"Wait!! Ulquiorra! You can't just mock someone and run!"

"Mock? I meant no such thing, Grimmjow." I was lying right through my teeth. An unusual trait for me, dishonesty.

"Huh? Wha-? What do you mean?"

"It was a gift, nothing more, nothing less."

"Ah…oi…I sort of feel stupid."

"Yes, that you are Grimmjow. That is probably the smartest thing you have ever said." I walked away. I could tell by the stuttering he was doing that he was unsure if that was an insult. His stupidity surprised even me. He grabbed the collar to my jacket. I looked back at him.

"Is there something more you need?"

"You insulted me just now!"

"Yes." I closed my eyes.

"Take it back! I'm smart!"

I defeated the will to actually laugh. How he could possibly deduce such a thing was mind boggling. I shook my head.

"I have nothing more to say to you Grimmjow."

"Oh yes you do!" He pulled harder. I was starting to choke though I showed no sign of a struggle. "You apologize, I'll let you go."

"Apologize? You really are ridiculous. Now, release me."

"You…Why I….Damn." He let go of my collar. I breathed in and out slowly. I kicked Grimmjow hard in his knee. I couldn't resist. I was angry that he had dared to grab me. He needed to learn his place. He grabbed his knee swearing as much as he could. He looked up at me. He looked as mad as he did when Tousen cut off his arm. It was his own fault. This case was the same. I would explain to him once more.

"Grimmjow, you will never amount to anything but a mere six. You're power is not even in the range of my own. I am more powerful. I am more tactful. You are sporadic and hot headed. Your will to beat me is the reason you can't. You never will anyway. Stop with these foolish games. I am the superior. Learn that." I said harshly before walking away. He let out a yell of defiance. I almost wanted to turn back around and put him out of his misery. That was not my nature. That was his. I would never stoop to his level. I made my exit.

I sat in my room looking out of the window at the dullness of the moon. It was not dull in my opinion. It was uninteresting. It had no purpose being there. I thought about this. Maybe I was wrong. The moon is what gave Hueco Mundo its light. I closed my eyes in deep thought. There was a knock at my door. I already knew who it was, so I answered. He stood at the door with a solemn look on his face and his hands in his pockets. My own hands were in my pockets.

"Yes?"

"Ulquiorra," He started, "I…guess…….I wanted to make things right with you."

"What are you talking about now?"

"I mean us. Our relationship."

"We have no relationship Grimmjow."

"We do. We have only hate for each other."

"Yes."

"That's because I always try to out do you."

"Yes."

"I want to stop the fighting."

My eyes widened immediately. Did he say what I think he said? Did Grimmjow, the Espada who loved nothing more than conflict, just ask if we could stop fighting? I was speechless. He turned his head at the look on my face. He looked back.

"What do you think?"

I was still in shock. This was a moment where trash would have passed out. I shook my head becoming emotionless once again. I was still shocked though.

"Why are you asking me this?"

"Because you're right for once. You are stronger than me."

So he actually saw it my way?

"I don't know if I can trust you. Why should I trust you?"

"See? That's exactly what I mean. If all of us were friends, we could function better."

Was he feeling alright?

"Are you sick?"

"Sick in my stomach. So, truce or not?" He stuck his hand out to me. I looked down at my sandals then back at Grimmjow. I put my hand out to his.

"Good. We call a truce." We shook on it. For some reason, I felt like something of incredulous weight had been taken off of me. Grimmjow smiled at me.

"Okay, let's go get some lunch. I'm starving!"

"What?"

He grabbed my arm and dragged me to the kitchen. I had made a truce with Grimmjow. Could this be a trick? We were friends now? Did I actually just befriend trash? For once, I was questioning myself.


	3. 3 What the Hecksky?

What the Hecksky?

I don't know what was going on in Hueco Mundo during my absence, but I was downright shocked to come home to see Grimmjow and Ulquiorra actually talking friendly to one another. I had to move the strand of hair away from my eye just to see if I was seeing right. My everlasting smile turned into a perfect circle of shock. I had to think to myself, what happened while I was away??

I was frozen at the door leading to the kitchen. As king of the world, I had to rule over Soul Society. It was a tiring job, so I thought I'd take a break and come home to Hueco Mundo. I had been looking forward to seeing the fights that took place between Ulquiorra and Grimmjow. It was classic seeing Grimmjow trying to keep up with Ulquiorra's big words and meaningful sentence structure. Instead, I was frozen at the kitchen door seeing Grimmjow and Ulquiorra sitting at the table talking friendly to one another over lunch. Where's the yelling? Where's the flow of rhythm between their arguments? Why are they just sitting there? My eye twitched. I had to hide it. I had to hide it. I had to hide it. I took a deep breath. Ulquiorra noticed me.

"Lord Aizen?" He was a bit surprised to see me. I smiled at them both my small smile.

"Hello boys, uh, what's going on?"

"We're just talking. Drinking some tea. The us."

The us? The usual? This wasn't normal! Were they mad!?

"So, boys, what's with all of the friendliness? I mean, not that it's bad, but aren't you two always fighting?"

"Oh? Right, Lord Aizen, Grimmjow and I have made a truce. We are done fighting." Ulquiorra said respectfully. Something about the way he said that led me to believe that he couldn't believe this either. I almost blacked out at the new information I received. I gripped the frame of the door.

"Uh, uh, great! I'm proud of you two." I laughed hysterically. They looked at me wide eyed.

"Are you…okay, Lord Aizen?" They asked.

"TERRIFIC!" I flashed them a thumbs up. Grimmjow looked disturbed. I couldn't tell the look I was getting from Ulquiorra. "I'm going to go now." I said ducking out the door. I closed the door leaning against it breathing fast and hard. What the hell?? It was like they were under some kind of spell.

"Heya'. You oka' there?" Gin asked with his always closed crescent shaped eyes. He was frowning. I looked at him and grabbed his collar.

"Since when did Ulquiorra and Grimmjow become friends!?" I asked. Gin opened his mouth astonished.

"They're friends now?!" He asked. I nodded. "This is horrible! If they're not a' fighting, we're not a' laughin'!"

"I know!!!!" I yelled. He pat my head.

"It's a'right, Lord Aizen. We'll get'em snappin' at each otha' again."

"You'll make it all better?" I whimpered. He nodded with his smile back in place.

"Thank….you…" I sniffed. He gently pushed me off of him.

"Now, now, Lord Aizen. I gots work ta' do if we want those two a' fightin' again."

I nodded quickly.

"I understand. If there's anything you need, just ask."

"A' course I will." He walked down the hall. I smiled. There he goes. Off to plan a way to get Ulquiorra and Grimmjow fighting again. I wiped a tear from my eye. I needed to do a little research on this myself, and what luck. Szayel, the Espada researcher, strolls down the hall my way with open arms. Maybe a little creeped out about the open arms thing. He walked right up to me.

"Lord Aizen! This is truly a surprise!" He hugged me. I pushed off, gently, before he could feel around. I smiled at him.

"Szayel Aporro Granz, it's great to see you again," I lied. Out of all the Espada, I feared him most. He was creepy. Pink hair, golden eyes, what the fuck?

"So, what are you up to these days, O king of the world?"

"Hm…before we start into the small talk, I need to ask you-"

"A question?" He smiled wider. I cringed. Almost lost my nerve.

"How long have Ulquiorra and Grimmjow been friends?"

"Oh, that. The sight of it sickens me. They've been buddy buddy ever since noon."

"Noon? I see. I really must be going now."

He grabbed my hand.

"Now, hold on, let's chat for a bit."

I looked into his golden eyes. Oh shit, he winked. I pulled my hand back fiercely.

"I AM SORRY," I said loudly. That's what you're supposed to do if you feel uncomfortable with someone. You make a scene. "I AM SORRY, BUT I HAVE THINGS TO DO. I'M NOTH THAT KIND OF KING."

He looked at me weirdly. It was a 'what the hell is he doing' look. I quickly walked away back to the kitchen. They were gone! I had to find those two 'friends' before they did…something….friendly. I quickened my pace hoping to find the two again when I saw them outside of Grimmjow's room. I tripped but recovered in time to hide behind the corner. I put my face out a little.

"So, Ulquiorra, this seems a little strange, right? Us being friends and all."

Yes! It was very strange! Very out of character! Very stupid! Fight ! Fight! Fight!

"Hm. While it does feel abnormal, I have to say, it still feels nice that I don't have to worry myself with pointless arguments."

"Abnormal?"

"We must educate you." He sighed. I nodded in agreement. I looked back when Grimmjow waved his hand.

"I'm not that dumb. I don't need no edumacation."

Silence. Ulquiorra shook his head.

"Tomorrow, you're coming to my room, so I can teach you proper grammar and vocabulary."

"Grammar? Vocabulary? Slow down, we haven't even started yet!"

"My Aizen." Ulquiorra put his hand onto his head. They walked off again. I put my hand on my chin. Ulquiorra, a teacher? This was a perfect opportunity! Students never get along with their teachers! I would have to see this.

"Lord Aizen?" I heard two voices say. I turned to my right to find myself staring right into the two faces of Aaroniero Arru…Arr…A…however the hell you say his last name! How did he survive the battle anyway?

"Uh, hello Aaroniero."

"Lord Aizen, what are you doing?" The two voices spoke. I take it back. I feared Aaroniero the most now.

"I was just looking for the…bathroom. That's it, yeah, the bathroom."

"Let me explain it to you." The high voice said. Oh my me, they don't have to speak simultaneously??? This was news to me.

"No time. No time." I waved my hands.

"You see, we arrancar, have no excretion system meaning we don't really go to the bathroom. However, since the higher level arrancar have reproductive systems, they must…..where did he go?" The deep voice asked.

"I don't know. My eyes are squinty, remember?" The high voice answered.

I had to shake off the voices I had just heard. I shuddered violently. Maybe it was a seizure. I found the two again. This time, they were in the Espada hang out room. Talking again, over mochas. Yes, I could tell what they were drinking from, like, my distance. What were they talking about now?

"You fool, Kurosaki was not that difficult to defeat. You are just weak."

"Please, I know you did something. You must have."

Were they arguing again? Oh joy!! I jumped and clicked my heels together. I fell flat on my face when I heard Ulquiorra say,

"I used no tricks. You are just weak. Maybe I can help you polish your technique sometime tomorrow."

"Pretty effin' sweet." Grimmjow smiled. I picked myself up. This was despicable. What was Gin up to right now? Wasn't he supposed to be ruining this?? Wasn't he??? I sighed.

"Lord Aizen?" Grimmjow said. I froze and looked up.

"Grimmjow…whenever did you get here?"

"Well, Ulqs over here saw you fall, so we came to help."

"It was Grimm here who suggested we check on you. I said you were strong enough to handle yourself."

N-nicknames!? NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! All hope was gone!! All hope!!No more fights! No more! No more! No more!! Why?????!!!!!!

"!!!!!!!!!!" I yelled. They both looked at me. I realized what I was doing, stopped, and coughed into my hand.

"That was No an original piece by me, Lord Aizen. Gotta' go now." I said quickly walking away from the horribly embarrassing scene. Get a hold of yourself Aizen. So, your two bestest Espada who always brought you the joy of fighting. So, they had made a truce. SO, there were never going to be any more fights. SO WHAT? I started hyperventilating all the way to the throne room. I leaned on the big door before I opened it. Breathe, man! Breathe. I took a deep breath. What if those two never fought again? Who was I supposed to watch bicker? Nnoitra and Halibel?? No freakin' way! Did that once, was not a happy customer. All they fought about was their relationship. At least Ulqui and Grimm, damn! Now I was using the nicknames! *SIGH*, at least Ulquiorra and Grimmjow's fights had been interesting. They would always vary, There was who was smarterer, who was more strongest, um, um, who looked cooler, hard to believe Ulqui, damn, Ulquiorra joined in on that argument, there was who should have killed Kurosaki, and sometimes they had contests! Ooh, I remember those. Who could kill more soul reapers, who could kill more humans, who could make it from Japan to Brittania the fastest, and of course who could please me the most! Yay! I sighed remembering the good old days, and as I sighed to myself, arrancar children of all ages gave me a look when they passed by. I would kill them later. I AM NOT A FOOL!!!


	4. 4 Set up

Set Up

So, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow became good buddies durin' th' time me and Aizen was gone, eh? We's gonna' have to fix that. We can't have that now, can we? That was why I was gonna' put an end to those two, or at least their friendship. My smile grew.

I walked down the hall hands in sleeves thinkin' to ma'self. How, o how coulds I break those two up? They's had to had a weak spot in they're friendship. I just had ta' find it. I would need ta' closely observe them for the rest of th' day…night. How was I gonna' find those two. If I rememba' what Lord Aizen said, he said they was always movin'. That was no good. I pouted. My smile returned. Speak of the devils an' they shall appear. Here come Grimmjow and Ulquiorra. I hid behind th' wall to gets a reals good looks at'em.

"Ah, okay, Ulquiorra. What should we do, now that we've had a good drink?"

"I don't care what we do as long as it's not humiliating to me."

"We should try to stay in shape. Let's take a run through the desert."

"Are you suggesting we race?"

Grimmjow smiled.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." They walked for the exit. So it was true then. They really was good friends? Oh no, no , no, six and four were never meant to get along. Runnin' through the sand, eh? Those two are both sore losers, ain't they? If one loses, th' other would get mighty upset. Now, time to put the plan into action. Maybe Grimmjow should lose. He's awfully sore. I smiled even wider.

There they was. They was gettin' ready to start. I watched from my far distance. I had ta' make this count. I took out my trusty sword, Shinsou. If I gotta' good enough shot off, I coulds hit Grimmjow and trip him. What luck! They were neck and neck!

"Pierce him, Shinsou."

The little dagger like sword made its way to th' boys. Just as I wanted, th' sword went through Grimmjow's pant leg makin' him fall. What the hell? Ulquiorra stopped runnin' and helped Grimmjow up.

"Are you alright, Grimmjow?"

"I think so. Ow, how did that even happen?"

"I don't know. Maybe we should go back inside."

"Yeah."

My jaw dropped al th' way to th' sand below. I can' believ their not fightin'. Grimmjow would have got mad knowin' Ulquiorra cheated. I need a new plan.

Back inside, Grimmjow and Ulquiorra had gone their separate ways. Grimmjow was headed to his room ta' change his clothes. I followed. There was an arrancar cleaner person in there.

"OI! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM! MY ROOM IS JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT! I'LL KILL ANYONE WHO MESSES WITH THIS ORDER!!!" He yelled. The arrancar cleaner sprinted outta' th' room. Another smile made its way onta' ma' face. When Grimmjow left the room with clothes all changed, I went in. Ooh my, the room was nice and messy. I just need ta' clean it and leave a note from Ulquiorra. I laughed.

Finally, I finished. It took a good hour and a half, but I did it. Whoopee. Oh, I heards footsteps. I hid myself in th' closet hopin' like hell he didn't need to change again. The light turned on and the feet stopped. I held ma' breath ta' prevent bein' caught. I heard the note bein' opened up. There was a disgusted noise. The feet left th' room. I jumped outs of th' closest and left the room. Now ta' see the magic happen. I walked down th' hall where Grimmjow had already pulled Ulquiorra aside. Oh boy. Get the Fireworks ready.

"Ulquiorra, did you clean my room?" He had a big scowl on his face. Ulquiorra raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't been in your room."

"Don't deny it! You left a note." He showed Ulquiorra the piece of paper. Ulquiorra scanned it.

"Maybe I did. It's not like me though."

"So you did it?"

"I believe I did."

Here it comes. The moment we've all been waiting for!

"Thanks so much Ulquiorra!" Grimmjow smiled.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Yeah, my room was so messy, and I hate when the no numbers clean it because they move stuff around to where I can't find it, but you, you organized everything so perfectly. Thanks."

"You're welcome, Grimmjow."

Grimmjow walked off smiling. So, Grimmjow had turned into a pussy, eh? I guess it was up to Ulquiorra to steer things straight. So, lessee. Ulquiorra hated when Grimmjow ordered him around? He hated when he was disrespectful? Maybe it was time ta' give Ulquiorra's room a make-over. Hee Hee haw-haw.

The coast was clear. I went into Ulquiorra's room and closed the door. Shit! Ulquiorra was takin' a nap. Wait…this want bad. This want bad at all. My smile danced on my face. Don' ask how. It was. I shook the can of spray paint I had in my hand and let it rip. A masterpiece. That was th' words for it. Oop! Almost forgot ma' finishin' touch. I walked over to Ulquiorra.

I sneaked outta' the room reals quiet like. I took a gong outta' my pocket and hit it. I heard Ulquiorra jump. Then I sneaked off again ta' find Grimmjow. I found Grimmjow sittin' in the hallway hummmin' a familiar tune. Why the hell was he humming Cartoon Heroes by aqua when he was an anime villain? I shrugged. Ulquiorra stomped over to him; Grimmjow smiled up at him.

"What's going on? What happened to your face?? It's all drawn on and stuff."

"That's what I want to know. Grimmjow!"

"Hm? What? You think I did it?"

"I woke up and all of my stuff had been knocked onto the floor, and all the walls had been spray painted. They read: I am Grimmjow! Ulquiorra make me a sandwich." He paused ta' narrow his green eyes. I waited patiently ta' see how this fight would start. Grimmjow scratched his head.

"Hm? It sounds like something I would do, but…"

"You can't deny it. You did it."

"There is a lot of proof…"

Come on Ulquiorra! Snap th' lil' twit's neck!

"I suppose I must thank you for that."

WHAT THE HELL!??!?!?!?!?!?!

"If it hadn't been for that, I would never have been able to make it cleaner than it was."

"Oh, well then. Your welcome."

My jaw dropped lower than it ever did b'fore. How was it possible that three of ma' genius plans worked out. It was time for th' big guns. Where was Nnoitra?

I finally found th' lazy bum sleepin' in his room. I kicked him offa' the bed. He fell and looked at me sharply.

"YOU WANNA' DIE!?!?"

I smiled. He was th' perfect man for th' job. I waved ma' hands at him nonchalantly.

"Nnoitra, well, well, I'm sure you're aware of th' sitiation at hand, right?"

"Sitiation? Situation? Huh?"

He was a moron too? He was too good th' job! His mouth opened widely.

"Oh! You're talking about that effed up situation with Grimmjow and Ulquiorra becomin' friends, aren'tcha'?"

I nodded. He stood up towerin' over me.

"What can I do to help?"

I smiled wider still. This was going to be good. A simple trickery.

Nnoitra an' I stood in th' hall outside Ulquiorra's door. Everyone knew Ulquiorra was in his room at this time. Doin' what? Thinkin' ta' himself. I gestured Nnoitra start.

"Heya', Gin. I didn't know you was back yet."

"Oh yes, I jus' arrived some time ago…with Aizen."

"Okay, so ya' been hearing about all the rumors goin' around now?"

"Rumors? Oh no, I haven't. Anythin' juicy?"

"Well, Ulquiorra and Grimmjow have become friends."

"Oh my, they mus' be so proud to have ended the fight."

"Actually, no, I just heard Grimmjow call Ulquiorra a stuck up prick and an Aizen kiss-ass when I talked to him a few minutes ago."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah."

"Les' take this elsewhere. This sounds good." We walked down th' hall an' waited. Ulquiorra opened th' door. He walked down th' hall. He didn't look happy!! Nnoitra and I high-fived. Now for Grimmjow.

We took Grimmjow into the kitchen and set him at the table. I had ma' hands on his shoulders and ma' face was mockin' tha' of sad. Nnoitra stood ta th' side shakin' his head. Grimmjow looked at us.

"What's goin' on?"

"We's gots bad new for ya', Grimmy."

"Bad new?"

"It's about Ulquiorra."

"Ulquiorra? Is he okay?"

"He better than okay. I passed him in the hall and he was talking 'bout you." Nnoitra said. Grimmjow raised an' eyebrow. "He said you was a pain in his ass."

"Really?" I faked ma' shock. "I heard he call you a spineless, snivelin' coward who can't fight…and…and don't deserve ta' be an Espada!"

Grimmjow was silent. He took ma' hands offa' his and stood up.

"where the HELL is Ulquiorra!?" He stormed outta' the room. I smiled an' thanked Nnoitra. It was time ta' get Aizen, so we could enjoy th' show.

Me an' Aizen rushed down th' hall like little school girls lookin' for the UlquiGrimm fight. We rushed an' rushed until we saw it. The staredown. We pulled out foldin' chairs an' popcorn ta' watch.

"Grimmjow."

"Ulquiorra."

This wa' getting' intense. We leaned forward.

"Have you been mocking me, Grimmjow?"

"Tch, answer your own question. What about the shit you said about me?"

"….?"

"No answer, smarty pants?"

"I didn't say anything about you."

"Say wha, huh? You didn't?"

"No, I think we're being tricked."

Times ta' go. We was too interested ta' leave.

"I think someone doesn't like us being friends."

"Who would do that?"

"It is weird. Us being friends."

"I agree Grimmjow."

"Well, I like not having to fight you too."

Ulquiorra nodded.

I can' believe nona' ma' plans worked. That's sad. I was preparin' ta' get up when somethin' else intrestin' happened.

"Want some gum? It's tea flavored." He handed Ulquiorra th' gum. Ulquiorra put the wrapper in his pocket. Grimmjow threw his on th' floor.

"Are you going to pick that up?"

"Later."

"NOW."

"Don't. Tell. Me. What. To. Do."

"I'm superior to you. It's my job."

"Kiss-ass."

"Fool."

"Bitch."

"Fucker."

"THAT'S IT!!!" Grimmjow punched; Ulquiorra caught his fist. Me an' Aizen smiled in our chairs an' watched the fight take place. I was a lil' upset knowing all I had ta' do was litter. How boring but it got our fightin' back! Aizen jumped up and pumped his fist in excitement. I joined in. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra would never make th' mistake of bein' friends eva' again.

The End


End file.
